why i will always hate the sutton showcase!!!

all three years that i went 2 sutton, i wanted 2 sign up 4 the showcase. unfortunately, i didn't get 2 in 6th and 7th grades. it was like, one day was the first day u could sign up. next day, it was 2 late. in 8th grade, my friend chaise and i finally got our forms turned in. only 2 not make it. we decided 2 cover blurry by puddle of mudd. so chaise memorized most of the vocals and i memorized all of the chords on the guitar. we practiced as often as possible. chaise never told me how she practiced, but i always picture it as going a little bit like this: she practiced 4 about 30 minutes b4 starting homework and would practice in between assignments. she'd finish one assignment, practice 4 about 5 minutes, and start another assignment. that kept going until she finished her homework. then she practiced nonstop until it was time 4 her 2 eat dinner. she practiced after dinner. and when she went 2 bed, she said she'd sing herself 2 sleep, singing the lyrics 2 that song. as 4 me, i'd do my homework on the bus so i could get it the hell out of the way. once i got home, i'd call my mom, have a bowl of cereal, and practice playing those chords until my mom and brother came home. i'd take a break and say hi 2 them, then i'd start practicing again until dinner time. after that, i practiced until it was time 2 get ready 4 bed. once i went 2 bed, i'd hum the melody while fingering the chords in mid air. sometimes, my parents would go out 2 trivia and tell me not 2 stay up 2 late. every time, though, i stayed up until maybe 15 minutes b4 they got back (which would b around 2 in the morning) and practiced. then, i'd go 2 bed 15 minutes b4 my parents got back and fall asleep. and it would b like i was asleep the whole time. and every morning on the bus, chaise and i would listen 2 the song on my iPod (b4 that bastard-ass nathan katica -don't give 2 fucks if i misspelled his name- stole it this past year in 9th grade), just 2 b able 2 fix what we thought we were messing up on. and every night, we practiced until we got it exactly right. finally when the day of the auditions came, i was nervous and excited at the same time. i was constantly checking 2 see if my guitar was in tune and making sure no strings were broken. i also constantly checked 2 see if i still had my pick and my extra set of strings, just in case one broke. when me and chaise's time came 2 audition, i took a deep breath. i was ready. chaise sang maybe 5 words and i only played one chord. and that's when i heard the words i still dread when thinking back on this event: "okay, stop. u're out." out of curiosity, i asked, "did we do something wrong?" one of the judges said, "u guys suck." "but," i argued, "u barely heard us play. she sang 5 words and i played one chord. u barely heard the song." the judge pointed at chaise and said, "u're flat." turning his finger 2 me, he told me, "u came in 2 late." "have u," i asked, protesting, "even heard the original song?" all of the judges said no. "how, then, do u know how it's supposed 2 sound? unless u know how the original song goes, and until u heard us perform the whole thing, u can't criticize us," i said. the first judge replied, "actually, yes we can. we evaluate based on what we want 2 hear and see." i was so depressed at that point. we had practiced at every given moment. we had tried our damn hardest. and they didn't even want 2 give us a chance. i thought, "that racist judge only denied chaise bcuz she was black. and u usually don't hear black ppl singing rock songs. and he only denied me bcuz somehow, he knows i'm not even american. that racist punk-ass."  that wasn't the only reason it was unfair. we didn't know what the judges wanted 2 see or hear. so how the hell were we supposed 2 know which acts would get us in2 the showcase? chaise sounded amazing. and i still hope i sounded just as good. but we didn't know they were expecting something specific OR that they were gonna go racist on us. everybody else got a chance. and no matter their skin color or ethnicity, they weren't dogged on like we were. and there's nothing we can do about that.